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Tuesday 17 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39050) - you deserved it (2363)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

#20888878
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17350) - you deserved it (40480)

On 09/20/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by BabeRuth (man) - United States

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32801) - you deserved it (2950)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

#20892986
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43604) - you deserved it (5672)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by User (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

#20892987
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42465) - you deserved it (2983)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm - misc - by poor teacher - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out I was adopted when my drunk dad made a terrible Star Wars joke. FML

#20893338
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37131) - you deserved it (2291)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by theynamedmeluke (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

#20886516
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38169) - you deserved it (4414)

On 09/18/2013 at 12:55pm - health - by GogurtBadass - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my roommate Skypes my friends on my laptop when I'm away. Not only that, he covers his face and shows them his junk. My friends no longer answer Skype calls from me. FML

#20886799
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36076) - you deserved it (3815)

On 09/18/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

#20886867
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18260) - you deserved it (27883)

On 09/18/2013 at 6:59pm - work - by Sunny (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML

#20887597
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33861) - you deserved it (3055)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by CapitolSouthSux (woman) - United States

Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML

#20888617
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39922) - you deserved it (2487)

On 09/20/2013 at 1:52am - misc - by wat - United States (California)

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45468) - you deserved it (3655)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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