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Tuesday 17 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51424) - you deserved it (4263)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guys who pick up my recycling. FML

#20886188
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37894) - you deserved it (11396)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:19am - health - by I get the hint -

Today, I found out I was adopted when my drunk dad made a terrible Star Wars joke. FML

#20893338
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41433) - you deserved it (2666)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by theynamedmeluke (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my grandfather that Canadians aren't evil by reminding him that he's Canadian. FML

#20885056
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38794) - you deserved it (2642)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML

#20889957
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37916) - you deserved it (7073)

On 09/21/2013 at 9:10am - misc - by dadyoureacunt (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found my brother wearing nothing but underwear. That would have been okay if it weren't my lingerie. FML

Today, while having sex with my wife, my Candy Crush addiction hit me full force, and all I could do was think about possible moves I could make in the level I'm stuck on. FML

#20890032
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25014) - you deserved it (48516)

On 09/21/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by CandyCrushAddict (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

#20890231
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40713) - you deserved it (3961)

On 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66865) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

#20892563
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37016) - you deserved it (5714)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:48am - kids - by numbnuts (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

Today, I found out my roommate Skypes my friends on my laptop when I'm away. Not only that, he covers his face and shows them his junk. My friends no longer answer Skype calls from me. FML

#20886799
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41171) - you deserved it (4558)

On 09/18/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48856) - you deserved it (3387)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)



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