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Tuesday 17 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

#20893002
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57859) - you deserved it (4614)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my best friend told me that she no longer wants to cut herself because now she's madly in love with a guy in our school. She doesn't know that he's gay. FML

#20893179
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52222) - you deserved it (3521)

On 09/23/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by friend loves a gay guy... - United States (Ohio)

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48769) - you deserved it (3382)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63459) - you deserved it (2847)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

#20888582
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50214) - you deserved it (11265)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

#20889286
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (35812)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML

#20889957
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36941) - you deserved it (6928)

On 09/21/2013 at 9:10am - misc - by dadyoureacunt (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50397) - you deserved it (9285)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML

#20889279
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43395) - you deserved it (9981)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42450) - you deserved it (2628)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)



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