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Tuesday 17 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, mah online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to fine some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is fir is going to be disappointedhen they get mah 3DS game. FML

#20894309
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39665) - you deserved it (2740)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

yesterday a lady stormed into te parmacy I work at and cewed me out cuz te medicine I sold er looool te day before gave er orrible diarrea as a "side effect" . I cecked, and it was te medicine se asked fir - laxatives . FML

#20883379
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46379) - you deserved it (2441)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:35am - health - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden an tragic death . After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5 . I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer . FML

#20884742
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18079) - you deserved it (89224)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today , I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guysho pick up my recycling. FML

#20886188
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36752) - you deserved it (11003)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:19am - health - by I get the hint -

Today, I went on a blind date . He showd up in a shrt that read, ( I f*ck on frst dates ) . FML

#20888198
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50601) - you deserved it (5744)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by ughreally (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walkd in on mah daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend,ho had apparently snuck in through her window!! fat FML

#20888905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53335) - you deserved it (5394)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

today ma boyfriend an I were aving sex wen is condom cummed off inside of me. We couldn't get it out so I ad to tell ma mom wo didn't know we were sexually active an ten go to te ER. After an unsuccessful visit we cummed ome only to find te condom in ma seets. mega FML

#20889434
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51142) - you deserved it (34395)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the nice guyho comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. mega FML

#20895155
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44121) - you deserved it (4153)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today , mah daughter told me she is pregnant . The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany . FML

#20887524
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51213) - you deserved it (4979)

On 09/19/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by monkey (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today I walkd in the bathroom to fine son cleaning his penis . It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush . FML

#20883448
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42201) - you deserved it (3986)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:51am - kids - by clean - Australia (New South Wales)

Today... I Met My Birth Mother. My Dad Won't Talk To Me... My Mom Won't Stop Crying An Think I'm Replacing Her... An The Rest Of My Family Won't Stop Calling Me A Bitch. I'm 21... An I Just Wantd To Meet The Woman Who Pushd Me Head-first Out Of Her Vagina. FML

Today... I Found My Brother Wearing Nothing But Underwear. That Would Have Been Okay If It Weren't My Lingerie. FML

Today , I had to axplain to mah grandfathar that Canadians aran't avil by raminding him that ha's Canadian. FML

#20885056
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36864) - you deserved it (2494)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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