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Tuesday 27 August 2013

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Today, someone took my flatscreen TV at my garage sale because some kid snuck a "free" label onto it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2013 at 12:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

by Tag / 08/31/2013 at 12:30am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML

by aisbash / 09/01/2013 at 3:35pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

by faulty plumbimg! / 08/31/2013 at 8:14am / India / Health

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

by tallguy / 08/29/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor's daughter started learning how to play the trombone. FML

by Alice / 08/28/2013 at 6:33am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2013 at 4:52pm / Norway (Akershus) / Love

Today, I was telling my brother about how my new colleagues and I don't share a sense of humour. He replied, "What, you mean they don't pretend to laugh at your jokes like everybody else?" FML

by laughing-stock / 09/02/2013 at 5:40pm / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Work

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

by notsolucky / 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, during one of my first days as a teacher, a student stole my phone. FML

by gunnerdog / 08/26/2013 at 8:22pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was told that the $500 I'm owed for babysitting isn't going to happen. Why? Because after six months of watching a friend's six children, she's moved 120 miles away and no longer needs me. FML

Today, after a long couple of months working non-stop, I finally got someone to cover my shift. Turns out she was joking, and when I didn't show up for work, I had been fired. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 3:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, my daughter managed to crash my car. It's okay though, the insurance will cover it. However, it won't cover all the items she damaged crashing into a garage sale. FML

by Idontknowwhattodo / 08/27/2013 at 6:17am / United States (California) / Kids