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Tuesday 27 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because my therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express my darker thoughts without her help or a fear of being judged. FML

#20866346
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35269) - you deserved it (2626)

On 09/03/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by depressed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

#20857349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45216) - you deserved it (3323)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40115) - you deserved it (2709)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37056) - you deserved it (3032)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend's freshly-repainted car got keyed. He's literally more of an inconsolable wreck now than he was when his own mother passed away last year. When I tried hinting that he was overreacting, he told me to go to hell. FML

#20861652
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37447) - you deserved it (8594)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

#20862628
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44961) - you deserved it (3153)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

#20862659
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41757) - you deserved it (5144)

On 09/01/2013 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was grounded by my dad for "popping pills like a gangbanger". I take prescription ADHD medicine and a multi-vitamin. FML

#20863675
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37604) - you deserved it (2692)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:15pm - love - by zephyrgk - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

#20863945
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40534) - you deserved it (6142)

On 09/02/2013 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

#20856532
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35584) - you deserved it (18656)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:13pm - health - by anditburnsburnsburns - United States (Virginia)

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

#20858870
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36652) - you deserved it (4049)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:39am - misc - by oD_Ronan (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

#20858925
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36110) - you deserved it (2370)

On 08/29/2013 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

#20859064
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46701) - you deserved it (4082)

On 08/29/2013 at 9:40am - misc - by tallguy (man) - Australia (South Australia)



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