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Tuesday 27 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

#20866213
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46354) - you deserved it (2750)

On 09/03/2013 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

#20856532
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35671) - you deserved it (18696)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:13pm - health - by anditburnsburnsburns - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40219) - you deserved it (2717)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

#20864109
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55102) - you deserved it (7007)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Kiddo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML

#20854811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45728) - you deserved it (3780)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by 4_and_20_blackbits (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

#20856004
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38512) - you deserved it (4284)

On 08/27/2013 at 12:36am - kids - by Parenting... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

#20859830
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46773) - you deserved it (2595)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:33am - work - by pizza girl - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out that Cheetos are flammable, as is my hair. FML

Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML

#20861368
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49165) - you deserved it (4008)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:16am - misc - by nevercatchabreak - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was grounded by my dad for "popping pills like a gangbanger". I take prescription ADHD medicine and a multi-vitamin. FML

#20863675
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37745) - you deserved it (2702)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:15pm - love - by zephyrgk - United States (Illinois)

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

#20858925
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36231) - you deserved it (2378)

On 08/29/2013 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML

#20860538
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45749) - you deserved it (3783)

On 08/30/2013 at 4:31pm - money - by -_- (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

#20863945
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43041) - you deserved it (6496)

On 09/02/2013 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)



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