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Tuesday 27 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML

#20861368
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47051) - you deserved it (3831)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:16am - misc - by nevercatchabreak - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

#20865686
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60018) - you deserved it (4279)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:30am - intimacy - by poolgirl789 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40364) - you deserved it (6481)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML

#20864381
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62383) - you deserved it (6389)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by yourfault (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML

#20858539
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49341) - you deserved it (2607)

On 08/28/2013 at 10:21pm - love - by marryinghimanyway (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that the very good-looking woman who sings for one of my favorite bands is actually a guy. FML

#20858850
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34938) - you deserved it (8349)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:07am - misc - by Pontiacman92 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was yelled at once again for being in the school gym without a coach present. I am the coach. FML

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

#20859311
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54222) - you deserved it (6073)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out after spending my life's income on paying for my grandma's cancer treatment that she has been faking it. FML

#20859354
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56272) - you deserved it (3298)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm - health - by scammed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

#20859944
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18947) - you deserved it (38793)

On 08/30/2013 at 2:28am - work - by goodbyepromotion (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that Cheetos are flammable, as is my hair. FML

Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML

#20854811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44361) - you deserved it (3670)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by 4_and_20_blackbits (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML

#20855277
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42720) - you deserved it (3436)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by ocdistheworst (woman) - United States (California)



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