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Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

#20856532
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35559) - you deserved it (18647)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:13pm - health - by anditburnsburnsburns - United States (Virginia)

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

#20858870
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36636) - you deserved it (4047)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:39am - misc - by oD_Ronan (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

#20858925
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36098) - you deserved it (2365)

On 08/29/2013 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

#20859064
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46675) - you deserved it (4081)

On 08/29/2013 at 9:40am - misc - by tallguy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

#20861465
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42182) - you deserved it (3651)

On 08/31/2013 at 8:14am - health - by faulty plumbimg! (woman) - India

Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I am also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. F*ck identity theft. FML

#20844068
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49505) - you deserved it (2860)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by iwannagotomiamitoo - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent half-an-hour listening to my therapist telling me enthusiastically how people used to communicate telepathically before verbal languages were invented. FML

#20847442
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37233) - you deserved it (3365)

On 08/21/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by verydepressed - Russian Federation (Tomsk)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML

#20849795
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40326) - you deserved it (3166)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML

#20854112
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41484) - you deserved it (4563)

On 08/25/2013 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, someone took my flatscreen TV at my garage sale because some kid snuck a "free" label onto it. FML

#20855061
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42049) - you deserved it (5569)

On 08/26/2013 at 12:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working at a client's house, I noticed that their sliding calendar was several months off. I fixed it. Later the daughter saw and started crying. Apparently the date was the last one her mother had set it to before she died. FML

#20857966
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30902) - you deserved it (53107)

On 08/28/2013 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

#20859830
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45809) - you deserved it (2539)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:33am - work - by pizza girl - United States (Mississippi)

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

#20861161
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38975) - you deserved it (2344)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by Tag (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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