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Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39837) - you deserved it (6482)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45553) - you deserved it (4528)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46097) - you deserved it (14928)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53171) - you deserved it (15771)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

#20845971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40296) - you deserved it (2767)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML

#20848790
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53224) - you deserved it (3314)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

#20850438
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44628) - you deserved it (9598)

On 08/23/2013 at 3:40am - misc - by seriously? -

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

#20850669
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43668) - you deserved it (10878)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was yelled at once again for being in the school gym without a coach present. I am the coach. FML

Today, I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented "I heard the person who drives that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML

#20846340
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51185) - you deserved it (5858)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by mycar - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after I had watched a few videos of myself, I realized the sound of my own voice is the single most annoying thing I have ever heard. FML

#20847659
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45488) - you deserved it (5434)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:08am - misc - by shut_up (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

#20848347
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39018) - you deserved it (3498)

On 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Jade (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

#20848570
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48766) - you deserved it (4312)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm - work - by baconbxtch (woman) - United States (Florida)



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