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Tuesday 20 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

#20853141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38112) - you deserved it (7952)

On 08/25/2013 at 12:30am - love - by Tyler - United States

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

#20853472
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25186) - you deserved it (40306)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:50am - misc - by jameen - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML

#20855520
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34068) - you deserved it (2636)

On 08/26/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, during one of my first days as a teacher, a student stole my phone. FML

#20855620
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39051) - you deserved it (4425)

On 08/26/2013 at 8:22pm - work - by gunnerdog (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a "bring your family to work" event. I noticed my coworker brought his kids but not his wife, so I asked, "No wife today?" Everyone glared at me and he pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone thinks I'm an insensitive prick. FML

#20844855
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39392) - you deserved it (7838)

On 08/19/2013 at 3:04pm - work - by insensitive prick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized the only reason I was invited to go on vacation with my extended family was so I could babysit everyone's children while the adults go out and have fun. FML

#20850802
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37320) - you deserved it (2643)

On 08/23/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, like every day for the past 6 months, I got a call from the same telemarketers. I've been ignoring the calls, so now they've started leaving me voicemails. I can't get rid of the annoying voicemail icon on my phone without making a call, so I have to pay to listen to their offers. FML

Today, my daughter managed to crash my car. It's okay though, the insurance will cover it. However, it won't cover all the items she damaged crashing into a garage sale. FML

#20856229
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36732) - you deserved it (2942)

On 08/27/2013 at 6:17am - kids - by Idontknowwhattodo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a steering wheel cover to stop my obsessive steering wheel picking. After putting it on, I realized it was crooked, causing me to have OCD fits every time I drive. I can still pick at the steering wheel around the cover. FML

#20845898
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29426) - you deserved it (8900)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:08am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States



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