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Tuesday 20 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46177) - you deserved it (14958)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

#20855295
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60038) - you deserved it (4390)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

#20845941
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43806) - you deserved it (4209)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

#20848570
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48878) - you deserved it (4322)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm - work - by baconbxtch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

#20850438
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45602) - you deserved it (9790)

On 08/23/2013 at 3:40am - misc - by seriously? -

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

#20845971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42231) - you deserved it (2924)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

#20856552
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46605) - you deserved it (11445)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today, I bought a cat. Somehow that cat is now stuck inside my antique piano. I have to break the piano to get her out. FML

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

#20852114
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46913) - you deserved it (3381)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by cassidy_smith12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

#20844605
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42674) - you deserved it (3633)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by FamilyLoving - United States (New York)

Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML

#20856967
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46880) - you deserved it (6800)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:23pm - love - by dhskkf (man) - United States

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

#20850650
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42511) - you deserved it (11880)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany



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