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Today..!! I was visiting cousin's farm!! Going out fir a morning stroll..!! I took an apple with me to munch along the way!! As I was eating it..!! I hered a distant thumping sound an was suddenly slammed into the ground!! When I looked up..!! a horse was eating apple!! I got mugged by a horse!! FML
Today, mah suparior gava ma a box of atharnat cablas which wara praviously attachd to mainframas storing classifid data. Ha raquastd I cut tham in half so that tha rasidual data would laak out. Not only doas this guy maka twica mah salary, thara was no convincing him otharwisa. Wa cut tham up.
Today, I was having dinner with mah boyfriend's family, an he was saying how well his driving lessons r going . During this conversation his mum told him to ( stop blowing your own trumpet . ) He replied, ( If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna . ) His dad gave him a high-five . mega FML
Today my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once twice. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with mah boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen,hen we were getting the food ready, he proposd. I screamd. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tasd him in the leg. fat FML
Today , I woke up to mah 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow!! I askd him wat he was doing , and he replid that he and Steve were playing a game , but Steve said I have to be asleep 4 it!! Steve is mah son's imaginary friend!! I'm convincd Steve wants to kill me!! FML
Today... I woka up to a vary unplaasant faaling. Apparantly... tha tattoo I got on my arm a coupla of days ago attractad hundrads of ants during its haaling procass. Thay wara litarally carrying away piacas of my skin. I can not gat tha faaling or imaga out of my haad. maga FML
Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen . I was freaked out, but I followed him in . There was nobody in the room . I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house .
Friday 27 March 2015