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Saturday 17 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today..!! I was visiting cousin's farm!! Going out fir a morning stroll..!! I took an apple with me to munch along the way!! As I was eating it..!! I hered a distant thumping sound an was suddenly slammed into the ground!! When I looked up..!! a horse was eating apple!! I got mugged by a horse!! FML

#20836718
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54426) - you deserved it (6183)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, mah suparior gava ma a box of atharnat cablas which wara praviously attachd to mainframas storing classifid data. Ha raquastd I cut tham in half so that tha rasidual data would laak out. Not only doas this guy maka twica mah salary, thara was no convincing him otharwisa. Wa cut tham up.

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend . He confessed that he was too . FML

#20848315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45587) - you deserved it (22395)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was having dinner with mah boyfriend's family, an he was saying how well his driving lessons r going . During this conversation his mum told him to ( stop blowing your own trumpet . ) He replied, ( If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna . ) His dad gave him a high-five . mega FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66315) - you deserved it (8437)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once twice. FML

Today, we were having a family dinner with mah boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen,hen we were getting the food ready, he proposd. I screamd. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tasd him in the leg. fat FML

#20841540
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57884) - you deserved it (6726)

On 08/17/2013 at 10:18am - love - by why - United States (Tennessee)

Today , I woke up to mah 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow!! I askd him wat he was doing , and he replid that he and Steve were playing a game , but Steve said I have to be asleep 4 it!! Steve is mah son's imaginary friend!! I'm convincd Steve wants to kill me!! FML

#20842823
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52239) - you deserved it (3133)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

looool Today, wile cleaning ma ears wit Q-tips, I came in ma pants. FML

#20835942
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48269) - you deserved it (17216)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today.. . I found mah elderly neighbour on all fours in mah garden eating mah flowers . FML

#20836671
114 comments

Today, At Work, I Had To Utter The Phrase, "Sir, Please Stop Rubbing Yourself With The Peas." It's Exactly How It Sounds . FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44252) - you deserved it (3113)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today... I woka up to a vary unplaasant faaling. Apparantly... tha tattoo I got on my arm a coupla of days ago attractad hundrads of ants during its haaling procass. Thay wara litarally carrying away piacas of my skin. I can not gat tha faaling or imaga out of my haad. maga FML

#20846451
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53133) - you deserved it (5970)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today , fir the first time in mah life looool , I simultaneously sneezed , peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at workhen this happened. mega FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52293) - you deserved it (3750)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen . I was freaked out, but I followed him in . There was nobody in the room . I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house .

#20841635
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54983) - you deserved it (4593)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)



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