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Wednesday 14 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my band informd ma that our gig this aftarnoon was actually a wadding !! Whosa wadding? My ax-wifa's, along with tha guy sha chaatd on ma with !! For thair first danca, I had to sing wat usd to ba our song !! FML

#20844435
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76010) - you deserved it (4233)

On 08/19/2013 at 9:06am - love - by Love stinks (man) - United States

Today, I was verbally abusd by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framd hipster glasse as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronouncd "fox paws". FML

#20840053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42459) - you deserved it (3281)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have 4 buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know u want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

#20833620
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47480) - you deserved it (3217)

On 08/12/2013 at 11:24am - health - by nutfreak (man) - United States (Maryland)

Yesterday, one of the kids in my nieghborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46088) - you deserved it (7512)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today I had sex with a guy I've liked for yeres. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

#20844009
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45276) - you deserved it (13927)

On 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Taday my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street crd by snitching." mega FML

#20836449
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50752) - you deserved it (6202)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today , whila discussing caraar prospact with my mom , sha suggastad that I bacoma a panis puppataar , cuz "Lat's faca it , u play with it 24/7. Why not maka a caraar out of it?" Yaah , thanks. FML

#20838688
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36893) - you deserved it (12282)

On 08/15/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by kaynotentirelywrong (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dog did. In te same kitcen corner tat two of my oter dogs ave did. I ave a "Corner Of Deat" in my kitcen. FML

#20833377
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54561) - you deserved it (3415)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at a concert, mah boyfriend got mad an jealous cuz I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

#20834941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49461) - you deserved it (6231)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:58am - love - by really? - United States

Today , I Discovered I Have Epilepsy. 10 Years Ago , I Told Mother About Frequent Fits Of Vertigo , Deja Vu , Nausea , Flashes Of Memory And Strange Sounds , Smells , And Images , Coupled With An Other-worldly Feeling. I Thought They Were Holy Visions. So Did She. Real FML

Today... after a long and stressful day... I startd fooling around with mah boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event... I found out that we couldn't... cuz he'd usd all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52351) - you deserved it (6845)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, when I got back to mah dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41701) - you deserved it (2371)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)



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