Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 14 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

#20835654
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41169) - you deserved it (3663)

On 08/13/2013 at 4:19pm - love - by Zanovitch - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML

#20835283
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43928) - you deserved it (4402)

On 08/13/2013 at 11:36am - work - by skaterboy - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37357) - you deserved it (2911)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML

#20838741
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48905) - you deserved it (2944)

On 08/15/2013 at 1:39pm - health - by Anonymous - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I was at the gym when I noticed a girl I like working out on the elliptical. I went to go say hi, but chickened out and went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead. I was so nervous that I tripped and the machine threw me headfirst into her machine. FML

#20839453
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36608) - you deserved it (7199)

On 08/15/2013 at 10:32pm - love - by ZeroLuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I told my boyfriend and my close family, who were all ecstatic. Then he told his mother. Her reaction? "It better come out looking like him." FML

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

#20845941
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39601) - you deserved it (3806)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

#20835313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36477) - you deserved it (2653)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my drunk mom kicked me out of my own birthday party, calling me a "party-pooper" and saying I was killing everyone's buzz. FML

#20843210
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37748) - you deserved it (3734)

On 08/18/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by 12345678910 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I am also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. F*ck identity theft. FML

#20844068
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44851) - you deserved it (2269)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by iwannagotomiamitoo - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

#20834187
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37348) - you deserved it (7222)

On 08/12/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by wildwonder808 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was told that my son has Twitter and Facebook accounts that he uses to try to bully people online, some of which are celebrities. He does it really badly, though. FML

#20837780
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35797) - you deserved it (6426)

On 08/14/2013 at 10:02pm - misc - by ShitStirringSon (man) - United States (California)

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

#20841231
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42613) - you deserved it (2811)

On 08/17/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by mugres22 (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: