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Sunday 28 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML

#20800901
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58743) - you deserved it (5038)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML

#20802578
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47931) - you deserved it (3385)

On 07/25/2013 at 6:55am - misc - by chumpslolo - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML

#20803390
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57729) - you deserved it (6882)

On 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm - love - by sucksatlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

#20804466
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50459) - you deserved it (16130)

On 07/26/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

#20807504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42796) - you deserved it (3987)

On 07/28/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Mia (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML

#20808417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44711) - you deserved it (3009)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by the un-loved child - United States (California)

Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML

#20809873
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36888) - you deserved it (10836)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by TehUglyLife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML

#20817944
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47413) - you deserved it (3805)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:01am - intimacy - by tigger2013 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

#20818001
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39123) - you deserved it (19636)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Myballshurt (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

#20819263
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39698) - you deserved it (5739)

On 08/03/2013 at 8:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I sold ice cream to a group of kids. One of them looked sad, because he was the only one who couldn't buy any, so I gave him some for free. Apparently, he was allergic to something in it, and ended up being rushed to the hospital. FML

#20799539
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46753) - you deserved it (6003)

On 07/23/2013 at 2:28pm - work - by Snarty (man) - United States

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

#20801990
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44313) - you deserved it (3319)

On 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm - misc - by GeeThanks (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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