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Sunday 28 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

#20818001
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41907) - you deserved it (20851)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Myballshurt (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

#20797503
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47787) - you deserved it (3233)

On 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I confessed to losing my wife's engagement ring, and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessed that her actual engagement ring was locked in the safe, and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML

#20798091
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41483) - you deserved it (12635)

On 07/22/2013 at 6:30pm - love - by RonnieG (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML

#20800901
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62051) - you deserved it (5398)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

#20801095
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22896) - you deserved it (47736)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:05pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my eldest daughter has 'officially' removed herself from our family and will no longer communicate with any of us. Apparently it's my fault that her younger sister is having a baby before her, and she can't be part of a family that 'treats her so unfairly'. FML

#20803510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42913) - you deserved it (3647)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:51pm - kids - by JealousBratMuch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

#20804466
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53130) - you deserved it (17245)

On 07/26/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

#20819060
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40873) - you deserved it (8898)

On 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm - health - by WTF, America? (man) - Sweden

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

Today, after a church service, a man approached me as I was walking to my car. He had tears in his eyes and politely asked if I would pray with him. He asked if we could hold hands. As I reached out to hold his hands, the bitch snatched my purse and ran. FML

#20797008
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45362) - you deserved it (7933)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by HillaryAngelic (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I sold ice cream to a group of kids. One of them looked sad, because he was the only one who couldn't buy any, so I gave him some for free. Apparently, he was allergic to something in it, and ended up being rushed to the hospital. FML

#20799539
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51511) - you deserved it (6913)

On 07/23/2013 at 2:28pm - work - by Snarty (man) - United States

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

#20801990
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46194) - you deserved it (3501)

On 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm - misc - by GeeThanks (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML

#20802578
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50464) - you deserved it (3589)

On 07/25/2013 at 6:55am - misc - by chumpslolo - United States (Ohio)



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