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Tuesday 23 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67924) - you deserved it (4012)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

#20808454
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47773) - you deserved it (6970)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML

#20804154
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44418) - you deserved it (3259)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

#20806438
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55323) - you deserved it (4272)

On 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm - kids - by poopiter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

#20807595
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61875) - you deserved it (8824)

On 07/28/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by microlovin (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

#20810418
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44156) - you deserved it (3216)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML

#20810887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53407) - you deserved it (3019)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:09am - money - by brokeandalone (woman) - United States

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

#20811031
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44042) - you deserved it (6215)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:42am - animals - by Bug8Frog - United States (Alaska)

Today, after our grandmother's memorial service, my 9-year-old sister took it upon herself to solemnly inform the priest in front of everyone in attendance that, "You lied. Jesus isn't here." FML

Today, I found out why we've had to replace 3 washing machines this year. My sister thinks that "huge capacity" means "load the washing machine until no more clothes will fit." It blows the motor every time. She's 31. FML

#20806007
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49374) - you deserved it (3944)

On 07/27/2013 at 5:26am - misc - by kilamo80 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

#20807504
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46859) - you deserved it (4395)

On 07/28/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Mia (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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