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Sunday 21 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally convinced my mum to take me to a psychologist. As soon as he sat me down and asked me how I was doing, my mum burst into tears and went on a rant about how her life is terrible and she regrets everything. I was asked to sit in the waiting room. She used up my whole hour. FML

#20787656
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48639) - you deserved it (3240)

On 07/17/2013 at 1:22am - health - by :-( - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

#20788038
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46088) - you deserved it (3860)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:56am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

#20788409
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42463) - you deserved it (3539)

On 07/17/2013 at 1:38pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I overheard my ripped, handsome, genetically perfect brother telling my mom how "fat people" make him "nervous". I have only recently accepted my weight, after struggling for years. I now understand why my brother rarely talks to me. FML

#20790160
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50224) - you deserved it (6433)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:53am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a blind date and we seemed to have hit it off nicely. I asked him if he could drive me home. Along the way he stopped on a pitch-black road and told me to get out so he could take a picture. He then gave me my bag and drove off, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. FML

Today, after being unemployed for almost two years, I was turned down for yet another job. The reason this time? I live too far from the job. I can see the building from my bedroom window. FML

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

#20792281
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41428) - you deserved it (3834)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML

#20792517
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58016) - you deserved it (3887)

On 07/19/2013 at 3:06pm - kids - by getmeoutofthiscountry (man) - United States

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

#20793573
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42351) - you deserved it (10181)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by imawesomeokay (woman) - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML

#20794407
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47269) - you deserved it (3687)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

#20795779
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39928) - you deserved it (5562)

On 07/21/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by what have i done with my life (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

#20797431
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41357) - you deserved it (5888)

On 07/22/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I won an award for Employee of the Month. Shocked, I asked my boss if he'd gotten my name mixed up or something. He had. FML

#20797671
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43528) - you deserved it (9722)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:29pm - work - by FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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