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Sunday 21 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51893) - you deserved it (3873)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

#20798065
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34280) - you deserved it (9090)

On 07/22/2013 at 6:14pm - love - by ihatepokemon (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered "Fuck it" and left. FML

#20806263
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40437) - you deserved it (3133)

On 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonycunt (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

#20790896
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25982) - you deserved it (45257)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's boss. She was wondering if he was okay, since he hasn't shown up to work for the past two weeks. Now I'm wondering where he's been going when he leaves the house each day. FML

#20799589
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56684) - you deserved it (3719)

On 07/23/2013 at 3:03pm - love - by Hesintrouble (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

#20804901
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41760) - you deserved it (3286)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:55pm - misc - by trailertrashyanditsucks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

#20788678
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41708) - you deserved it (4278)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm - love - by fuck family (woman) - Poland (Dolnoslaskie)

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

#20796202
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45568) - you deserved it (2950)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64091) - you deserved it (3710)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML

#20804217
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46169) - you deserved it (2411)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:58am - health - by Saddoc (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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