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Sunday 21 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45170) - you deserved it (9573)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29895) - you deserved it (53039)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

#20807336
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49767) - you deserved it (4185)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64441) - you deserved it (9505)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML

#20803453
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47822) - you deserved it (9363)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

#20806438
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58953) - you deserved it (4547)

On 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm - kids - by poopiter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

#20793742
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56362) - you deserved it (9554)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:35am - work - by Dirty_Mind_69 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63948) - you deserved it (8338)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

#20784458
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52378) - you deserved it (8640)

On 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, not just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

#20792358
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53990) - you deserved it (4015)

On 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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