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Tuesday 16 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the grocery store with my husband, only to find that his ex-wife worked there. Then I found out he never actually divorced her. FML

#20786957
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59519) - you deserved it (4665)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by me:( - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally convinced my mum to take me to a psychologist. As soon as he sat me down and asked me how I was doing, my mum burst into tears and went on a rant about how her life is terrible and she regrets everything. I was asked to sit in the waiting room. She used up my whole hour. FML

#20787656
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48484) - you deserved it (3230)

On 07/17/2013 at 1:22am - health - by :-( - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

#20788409
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42339) - you deserved it (3530)

On 07/17/2013 at 1:38pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

#20790299
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44946) - you deserved it (2753)

On 07/18/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by dirtythief (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

#20792281
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41341) - you deserved it (3829)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML

#20792517
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55841) - you deserved it (3711)

On 07/19/2013 at 3:06pm - kids - by getmeoutofthiscountry (man) - United States

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

#20793573
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41538) - you deserved it (9992)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by imawesomeokay (woman) - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML

#20794407
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45797) - you deserved it (3547)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

#20795779
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39796) - you deserved it (5538)

On 07/21/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by what have i done with my life (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

#20797431
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41241) - you deserved it (5874)

On 07/22/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I won an award for Employee of the Month. Shocked, I asked my boss if he'd gotten my name mixed up or something. He had. FML

#20797671
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43392) - you deserved it (9695)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:29pm - work - by FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after our grandmother's memorial service, my 9-year-old sister took it upon herself to solemnly inform the priest in front of everyone in attendance that, "You lied. Jesus isn't here." FML

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML



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