Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 16 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

#20796252
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29005) - you deserved it (56482)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by MarkQ95 (man) - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

#20798065
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39374) - you deserved it (10856)

On 07/22/2013 at 6:14pm - love - by ihatepokemon (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

#20788707
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64925) - you deserved it (23153)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

#20790896
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30250) - you deserved it (51021)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

#20796202
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51271) - you deserved it (3659)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

#20788678
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47214) - you deserved it (5125)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm - love - by fuck family (woman) - Poland (Dolnoslaskie)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's boss. She was wondering if he was okay, since he hasn't shown up to work for the past two weeks. Now I'm wondering where he's been going when he leaves the house each day. FML

#20799589
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59972) - you deserved it (3987)

On 07/23/2013 at 3:03pm - love - by Hesintrouble (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her another girl's name. FML

#20797095
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51187) - you deserved it (27491)

On 07/22/2013 at 4:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67883) - you deserved it (4010)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

#20784225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46686) - you deserved it (4199)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:25pm - misc - by helpme - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML

#20787970
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44933) - you deserved it (6241)

On 07/17/2013 at 6:06am - love - by sucker and suckatash/say don't spray - United States (Hawaii)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: