Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 9 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up fir years, buten I saw te pack I just couldn't elp myself. One taste was enoug to make me finis off teole pack. Nobody knows tat I've fallen off te wagon and I'm so asamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuit again. real FML

#20786268
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (32470) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read ( They're watching you . ) This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead 4 two years . big fat FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76272) - you deserved it (3863)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today , mah 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri , so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said , "But dad , I'm not a virgin." mega FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100063) - you deserved it (11688)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, MY GIRLFRIEND WAS SITTING ON MY LAP AT A BIRTHDAY PARTY. SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO FART. I CUMMED INSTANTLY. FML

#20785133
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59734) - you deserved it (21057)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

today while leaving McDonald's I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watchd in the rear-view mirror as it landd in the opposite lane an about 60 wingd rats descendd upon the street causing a truck to veer off the road an crash. FML

#20773275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27464) - you deserved it (46021)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today , I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him wat he was doing. ( Peieng. ) I asked him , ( In the sock drawer? ) There was a pause. ( Am I peieng in the wrong drawer? ) FML

#20779714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52153) - you deserved it (4296)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, mah boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping,hen for the frst time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's looool now in hospital.

#20770545
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (66726)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, mah dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around an smeared it everywhere. My dog excel at timing. FML

#20770214
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44299) - you deserved it (4220)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

TODAY, AS PART OF MY VETERINARY DEGREE, I HAD TO DEMONSTRATE HOW TO JERK OFF A DOG IN FRONT OF MY ENTIRE CLASS. AFTERWARDS, THE LECTURER SAID THAT I HAVE THE 'MAGIC TOUCH'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59339) - you deserved it (6965)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entre ward found out. real FML

#20770807
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42931) - you deserved it (6462)

On 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm - animals - by richardmrcs (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today , I was browsing porn in my room,hen my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab , only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open , so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said , "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help , son." real FML

#20779957
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28039) - you deserved it (54978)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

2day I cummed ome at 1am to find ma mom sitting on ma couc , ranting about ow I'm not supposed to stay up tis late. I'm 26 and I don't know ow se got into ma ouse. fat FML

#20775513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60028) - you deserved it (3743)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today... I want to ma local pool. I lay down in a cair and startad tanning. About 30 minutas latar... a lady cummad up to ma and said... "Put tat away... you parvart... tara r cildran ara!" I ad a ola in ma pants and ma panis ad startad to poka troug. raal FML

#20772281
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52355) - you deserved it (21159)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: