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Thursday 4 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I Actually Had To Teach Mah 9-year-old Brother How To Pour Himself A Glass Of Milk , After He Burst Out In Tears When Mah Sister Told Him To Do It Himself!! His Astonishing Ignorance Also Extends To Basic Hygiene!! FML

#20763424
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38175) - you deserved it (4510)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today... I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up... andhile I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nereby... I felt a warm stream on mah back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off mah clothes. FML

#20769987
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46965) - you deserved it (4193)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:57am - work - by FUCK.THIS.JOB. (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

#20770379
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47023) - you deserved it (3279)

On 07/08/2013 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, After A Arcut, I Walkd To Te Cas Register, Andd Te Ardresser A $20 Bill And Said, "Keep Te Cange." He Lookd At Me Wit A Blank Expression And Replid, "Te Arcut Costs 25 Dollars." Mega FML

#20773985
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30416) - you deserved it (46698)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:38am - misc - by RickTheBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Taday I went to get new shoes . I'm a pretty tall girl an I have proportional feet . I askd the cute guyho workd there for a size 9.5 . He burst into laughter before putting on a shockd face an saying, "Oh wait.. . You're serious." Goodbye, self esteem . mega FML

#20757181
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42381) - you deserved it (2755)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by theyre not THAT big. (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Taday a girl I mat racantly askad if I wantad to go jogging with har, and I axcitadly agraad. A whila into our run, I ran out of braath and doublad ovar panting, all whila sha kapt jogging and slowly disappaarad down tha straat. What a way to spand tima togathar. FML

#20765072
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40112) - you deserved it (8530)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today... I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along... and that I would have to sit next to them making out fir 2 hours. FML

#20772026
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53192) - you deserved it (4382)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:05am - love - by thirdwheel - Australia (Queensland)

Today... I found out how easy it is for people to get into mah flathen I found bailiffs in mah kitchen at 9am. They had pickd the lock to look for someoneho doesn't live at mah address... but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make mah home more secure. FML

today my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked himhy he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." mega FML

#20759121
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51804) - you deserved it (12472)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by yeshehaspornaddiction (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

2day whila jogging, a guy tacklad ma an got my iPhona. Baing a good runnar, I caught up with him an grabbad him. Naxt thing I knaw, I was on tha ground with a policaman yalling in my aar. Tha guy got away. FML

#20764590
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52172) - you deserved it (3036)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today husband's recent obsession with The Soprano since James Gandolfini died went a step further into the ridiculous when he tried to encourage some ducks to land in our swimming pool by throwing loave of bread into it while bellowing at them with a 'Noo Joisey' Wise Guy accent. real FML

#20770230
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31753) - you deserved it (3125)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by Not Mrs Soprano (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I Realizd My Online Dating Profile Has Gotten More Views With No Picture Than It Has With My Picture . FML

#20772363
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46636) - you deserved it (5199)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

TODAY, MAH BOYFRIEND CONVINCED ME DO AN INSANITY WORKOUT WITH HIM. I PASSED OUT DURING THE WARMUP. REAL FML

#20776146
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46702) - you deserved it (12040)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)



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