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Thursday 4 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

#20772295
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31457) - you deserved it (46738)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

#20774202
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46951) - you deserved it (3316)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm - misc - by my honest father - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML

#20775381
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53284) - you deserved it (3154)

On 07/11/2013 at 12:52am - health - by frustrated - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26066) - you deserved it (49276)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML

#20760905
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48026) - you deserved it (3213)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:26am - money - by Forever Alone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally realized that when my seemingly very judgmental fiancé makes negative comments about other women, it's actually just an excuse to keep ogling them. FML

#20761657
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38781) - you deserved it (5442)

On 07/03/2013 at 1:35pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43488) - you deserved it (4571)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

#20771120
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37284) - you deserved it (4698)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:45pm - misc - by STOPTAKINGPICTURES (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML

#20771326
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43796) - you deserved it (4910)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:02pm - misc - by the hated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

#20771661
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48613) - you deserved it (4596)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML

#20757992
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40599) - you deserved it (19810)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my manager made me remove an Eiffel Tower ornament from one of my displays. Not because it didn't look good or match the theme, but because it was "disrespectful" to have it out on the 4th of July. FML

#20763233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39721) - you deserved it (7551)

On 07/04/2013 at 9:13am - work - by unpatriotic (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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