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Thursday 4 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML

#20770807
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44667) - you deserved it (6718)

On 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm - animals - by richardmrcs (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19048) - you deserved it (59401)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so he could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad responded with, "Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?" FML

#20757403
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53991) - you deserved it (4545)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:38am - love - by Gracie-Ann (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

#20766295
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52359) - you deserved it (4474)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:17am - love - by walker - United States

Today, I was asked to help my sister clean her room. The moment I opened the door, I was greeted by her screaming "TASTE THE RAINBOW" with a full mouth. She then spat the skittles into my face. FML

#20768354
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43864) - you deserved it (4495)

On 07/07/2013 at 6:55am - kids - by tastetherainbow - United States (Texas)

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

#20771337
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49530) - you deserved it (3279)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

#20757856
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50628) - you deserved it (10529)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

#20767424
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51853) - you deserved it (3211)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45011) - you deserved it (8880)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

#20774202
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49471) - you deserved it (3536)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm - misc - by my honest father - United States (Kansas)

Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML

#20776199
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59518) - you deserved it (6304)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by fucked up dad (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

#20761976
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43630) - you deserved it (3215)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

#20774578
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47627) - you deserved it (9670)

On 07/10/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by mylifesucks - United States (Georgia)



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