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Saturday 29 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

#20756642
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53045) - you deserved it (8656)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by Acidic Donut - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

#20754518
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56810) - you deserved it (9103)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML

#20744819
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57292) - you deserved it (16193)

On 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML

#20744309
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46506) - you deserved it (4634)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:06am - kids - by NYCproblems - United States (New York)

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

#20746882
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41328) - you deserved it (5708)

On 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML

#20748338
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41494) - you deserved it (7937)

On 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

#20754108
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26389) - you deserved it (37752)

On 06/29/2013 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML

#20760905
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49970) - you deserved it (3389)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:26am - money - by Forever Alone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

#20754112
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57345) - you deserved it (6760)

On 06/29/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, what started off as an amazing date with my girlfriend ended with me driving her drunk ass home while she sat in the backseat making out with her new boyfriend. FML

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

#20759842
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46073) - you deserved it (4467)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:39pm - health - by good big sister? (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

#20754256
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47166) - you deserved it (2823)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic



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