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Saturday 29 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I overheard my mother Skyping with her new "boyfriend" about the $1,000 she just sent him. She barely knew what internet dating was three weeks ago. FML

#20748170
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41531) - you deserved it (3085)

On 06/26/2013 at 10:08am - money - by weneedthatmoneytoliveon (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was doing a little victory jig after finally sending out the last of the invitation cards for my wedding when I realised that I had forgotten to put the date of the event on them. FML

#20749970
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34401) - you deserved it (19924)

On 06/27/2013 at 8:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML

#20752290
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46999) - you deserved it (3071)

On 06/28/2013 at 11:51am - misc - by me - United States

Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

#20759724
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40923) - you deserved it (4162)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by dry spell (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML

#20764467
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40626) - you deserved it (5544)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:59am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I Googled "How to act like an adult." I'm 37. FML

#20765003
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21640) - you deserved it (45763)

On 07/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by forever young (woman) - United States

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

#20765643
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39745) - you deserved it (4176)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm - misc - by -_- (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out why my bank balance is so unusually low. It turns out that I bought a car in Indonesia. I've never been to Indonesia. FML

#20766607
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48507) - you deserved it (2526)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

#20743925
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41172) - you deserved it (2185)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:38am - money - by pumboc (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the stalker flatmate who has been obsessed with me since I first moved into the flat two years ago, graduated. Apparently he told everyone we are an item, because his parents and relatives were smiling and taking pictures of me from their seats two rows ahead of mine at the ceremony. FML

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

#20758014
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51661) - you deserved it (5623)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39705) - you deserved it (19299)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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