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Saturday 29 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized tat getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in te test all, reaced into my bag 4 a pencil, and found instead tree baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19005) - you deserved it (59270)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found cat dead on te road. I called family and told tem, and later buried te cat. Not long after I got done burying it, cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. mega FML

#20757856
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48012) - you deserved it (9990)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I trid acid fir the first time while camping with mah best friend. A drunk driver smashd into mah car, leaving it totald. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking mah car was bleeding green ooze.

#20759193
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (64716)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during mah family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, mah water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. mega FML

#20767424
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49172) - you deserved it (2977)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, wile using a urinal looool in a very busy mall batroom, anoter man unzipped is pants and attempted to use te same one as me. FML

#20751757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49805) - you deserved it (2843)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I returnd home from an extendd vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

#20761976
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43510) - you deserved it (3208)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Taday after spending four hours cooking food for a special family dinner, I went to take a shower before they arrived. I came back out less than twenty minutes later to fine most of the food gone, an a very guilty-looking puppy. FML

Today mah damantad asswipa of a lab partnar thought it'd ba funny to raplaca tha brthday gift I bought fir mah grlfriand with tha larga intastina of a racantly-dissactad dog. My grlfriand naarly faintad whan sha opanad tha gift box and accusad ma of planning tha whola thing. FML

#20752461
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43234) - you deserved it (2957)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today... while walking around town... some guy grabbd me from behind... clutchd at mah nipples... and said... "That's where I always imagind they were." FML

#20746398
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51758) - you deserved it (3908)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Yesterday , mah husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot mah parents are coming over. FML

#20747044
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39923) - you deserved it (4816)

On 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today I Found Out My Old DVD Player Is Jealous Of My Blu-ray Player. It Fell From The Top Of My Closet And Hit Me In The Head. Mega FML

#20747890
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35781) - you deserved it (7172)

On 06/26/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

today I've come to the conclusion that mah phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed mah PIN code into the microwave . mega FML

#20754108
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25250) - you deserved it (35923)

On 06/29/2013 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you fir taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry fir yur loss," said "Thank you fir yur loss." FML

#20758244
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47424) - you deserved it (8603)

On 07/01/2013 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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