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Saturday 29 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

#20764588
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64827) - you deserved it (3770)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49111) - you deserved it (14047)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47323) - you deserved it (9360)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67708) - you deserved it (5854)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

#20765717
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54119) - you deserved it (5148)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by The fuck, junior? (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

#20759193
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25806) - you deserved it (65995)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48407) - you deserved it (5008)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51935) - you deserved it (5957)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49973) - you deserved it (6175)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

#20751757
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52145) - you deserved it (2995)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43747) - you deserved it (3141)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70909) - you deserved it (4575)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)



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