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Thursday 27 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 12-year-old son played QWOP on my laptop. Half an hour later, he virtually destroyed it in a fit of rage. FML

#20752773
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31137) - you deserved it (4581)

On 06/28/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Jordan (Al Balqa')

Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML

#20757992
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38063) - you deserved it (18705)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

#20763424
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35952) - you deserved it (4265)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML

#20748752
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37698) - you deserved it (3330)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by MadMax - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

#20750358
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40471) - you deserved it (2539)

On 06/27/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by brigitte (woman) - France (Picardie)

Today, I went to get new shoes. I'm a pretty tall girl and I have proportional feet. I asked the cute guy who worked there for a size 9.5. He burst into laughter before putting on a shocked face and saying, "Oh wait... You're serious." Goodbye, self esteem. FML

#20757181
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38768) - you deserved it (2259)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by theyre not THAT big. (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

#20759121
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46632) - you deserved it (11244)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by yeshehaspornaddiction (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I finally realized that when my seemingly very judgmental fiancé makes negative comments about other women, it's actually just an excuse to keep ogling them. FML

#20761657
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37666) - you deserved it (5319)

On 07/03/2013 at 1:35pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone, when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

#20744693
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43110) - you deserved it (6129)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:49pm - health - by SillyScotsman - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)

Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML

#20753850
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43887) - you deserved it (4403)

On 06/29/2013 at 4:02am - love - by bubblegum92 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. Now my back is in agonizing pain, and I can barely walk. FML

#20755309
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38353) - you deserved it (4322)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:36am - health - by TooYoungForThis - Canada

Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML

#20752684
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46503) - you deserved it (6670)

On 06/28/2013 at 3:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was once again handed a document to translate along with the comment "Good luck, it doesn't make sense to begin with." If my translation doesn't, though, I will not get paid. FML

#20759632
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34018) - you deserved it (2567)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:35am - work - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany (Berlin)



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