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Saturday 22 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

#20740640
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46136) - you deserved it (3261)

On 06/22/2013 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

#20750126
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55940) - you deserved it (3906)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Guntherdog - United States

Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML

#20730678
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44971) - you deserved it (5526)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by cherbear1000 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

#20740202
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47440) - you deserved it (3481)

On 06/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

#20749746
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41345) - you deserved it (3863)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

#20752461
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45577) - you deserved it (3153)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months got upset and frustrated with me because he had yet to meet my mom. I'd told him on our first date that she passed away 4 years ago. FML

#20736145
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53761) - you deserved it (3478)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

#20730804
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38850) - you deserved it (5281)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Idontbelieveinmagic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

#20748724
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44859) - you deserved it (4893)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by theunluckylifeofme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML

#20752684
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51699) - you deserved it (7264)

On 06/28/2013 at 3:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML

#20732082
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44058) - you deserved it (2656)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML

#20753013
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52201) - you deserved it (4716)

On 06/28/2013 at 7:22pm - misc - by arse-face (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow my laundry room key. He was bare-ass naked. When I refused to open the door, he tried to break it down. I had to call the police before he would leave. FML



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