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Thursday 20 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a wasp flew into my car. In my frantic attempt to get away from it, I got pulled over and had to prove I was driving sober. FML

Today, I was packing up my stuff about to go home. I shut off my MacBook but was still pretending to work for the last few minutes, typing on the keyboard. A good way through, I realized my co-worker sitting across from me could see that the Apple logo was off. FML

#20732510
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15876) - you deserved it (41185)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:55pm - work - by awk1 - United States (Georgia)

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

#20736654
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39444) - you deserved it (2742)

On 06/20/2013 at 2:32am - work - by Whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

#20737057
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37756) - you deserved it (2452)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by whoriblemomindeed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML

#20738647
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44062) - you deserved it (4240)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:04am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

#20746329
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42286) - you deserved it (5603)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the airport when I saw a woman drop her bags and run to her husband. Thinking that someone might steal them, I picked up her bags and brought them over to her. She thanked me by slapping me, calling me a bitch and calling security. FML

#20735913
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36043) - you deserved it (4894)

On 06/19/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML

#20736007
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35944) - you deserved it (2623)

On 06/19/2013 at 9:09pm - work - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML

#20737568
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45280) - you deserved it (3461)

On 06/20/2013 at 5:13pm - misc - by clop clop clopping all the way (man) - United States

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML

#20748752
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37702) - you deserved it (3330)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by MadMax - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

#20750358
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40475) - you deserved it (2539)

On 06/27/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by brigitte (woman) - France (Picardie)

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone, when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

#20744693
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43116) - you deserved it (6129)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:49pm - health - by SillyScotsman - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML

#20732921
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31722) - you deserved it (3128)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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