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Thursday 20 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49569) - you deserved it (8753)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48005) - you deserved it (2912)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49325) - you deserved it (4665)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47570) - you deserved it (5890)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49246) - you deserved it (10391)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48923) - you deserved it (13999)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43031) - you deserved it (20446)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53976) - you deserved it (8474)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69070) - you deserved it (6571)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51639) - you deserved it (3675)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37088) - you deserved it (8694)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25880) - you deserved it (65052) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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