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Friday 14 June 2013

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Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

by lehonj49 / 06/21/2013 at 12:10pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am feeling freezing cold and soaking wet. It turns out that my dad had opened my window when I was sleeping, and rain water had been pouring in on me all night. My hair, face, pillow, blankets, alarm clock, and homework were all soaked as well. FML

by Anon / 06/12/2013 at 10:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bombarded with phone calls from debt collectors. After some investigation, it turns out my grandma, who has dementia, has been going into our mailbox and throwing away the outgoing mail because it wasn't addressed to her. I'm now apparently 3 months behind in payments. FML

by redvolvo23 / 06/12/2013 at 12:57am / United States / Money

Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML

by newyorkers / 06/17/2013 at 8:46am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

by kittykittyrun / 06/18/2013 at 12:28pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

by Shitty Boss Shitty Job / 06/15/2013 at 1:41am / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 10:04pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

by Whytetrash / 06/20/2013 at 2:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I returned home from a two-year trip overseas. My mom's first words as she greeted me at the arrivals terminal of the airport were, "Your father and I are getting a divorce." FML

by JabberWocky54210 / 06/21/2013 at 12:09am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

by fuckedbyahipster / 06/15/2013 at 12:13pm / Finland / Miscellaneous

Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years, called me and demanded to know where his Father's Day gift was. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2013 at 12:14pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, a woman demanded a refund for a video game. She had no receipt, so due to company policy, I couldn't refund her. She reacted by loudly accusing me of being racist, then yelled that she'd see me in court as she finally stormed out. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2013 at 3:15pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Work

Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML

by sydneyp3435 / 06/11/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Texas) / Kids