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Friday 14 June 2013

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Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML

by Becckzfizz / 06/20/2013 at 10:10am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 12:44am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I found out that my family has a bet on how long I will be single for. FML

by Bridget Jones? / 06/10/2013 at 9:09am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals

Today, I learned that the money I work hard for on YouTube has been transferred to the wrong person's banking account. That person is my ex-girlfriend. FML

by Broccolliboyy / 06/18/2013 at 2:35am / United States (Wisconsin) / Money

Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 5:04am / Australia (South Australia) / Transportation

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

by ouch / 06/15/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML

by sadgirl / 06/10/2013 at 2:14pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML

by Ouch / 06/20/2013 at 11:06pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

by ProAwkward / 06/18/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 6:44am / United States / Health

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

by whoriblemomindeed / 06/20/2013 at 12:02pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my last orchestra concert and had a large solo. My dad came to watch and record it; however, the whole time he recorded another girl, thinking it was me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2013 at 2:37am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous