Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 7 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was bombarded with phone calls from debt collectors. After some investigation, it turns out my grandma, who has dementia, has been going into our mailbox and throwing away the outgoing mail because it wasn't addressed to her. I'm now apparently 3 months behind in payments. FML

#20720825
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45544) - you deserved it (7726)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:57am - money - by redvolvo23 - United States

Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML

#20723133
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46935) - you deserved it (23989)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:16am - misc - by fuckyouverymuch (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

#20723365
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47494) - you deserved it (12305)

On 06/13/2013 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML

#20704938
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43036) - you deserved it (3564)

On 06/04/2013 at 2:47am - health - by samaram (woman) - United States

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML

Today, I was on the tram, when an elderly couple got on. I stood up to give them room to sit together, but as I stood up, the tram set off and I went flying, knocking the elderly gentleman over. FML

#20707500
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48946) - you deserved it (4065)

On 06/05/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by Bookworm (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML

Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML

#20719870
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44623) - you deserved it (2433)

On 06/11/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by stutterboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML

#20724193
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44529) - you deserved it (6269)

On 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm - misc - by Dingbat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up right as the dentist pulled my last tooth. FML

#20708877
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49121) - you deserved it (3095)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Applejacks18 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML

#20712915
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44449) - you deserved it (3057)

On 06/08/2013 at 1:12am - misc - by congrats grad - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML

#20718430
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41831) - you deserved it (4062)

On 06/10/2013 at 10:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for showing up at work early. His reasoning is that it looks bad when his workers show up before dawn and work later than he does. He assigned me these hours specifically to accommodate one of our clients. FML

#20725768
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41511) - you deserved it (2773)

On 06/14/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by wtfwhyfml (woman) - United States



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: