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Friday 7 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45690) - you deserved it (10109)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

#20703976
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43723) - you deserved it (4986) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/03/2013 at 4:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

#20707414
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40543) - you deserved it (13008)

On 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by SHIT-BREATH (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment below me so I went to kindly ask the little old lady to shut it off before she goes to bed. Her neighbor came out while I knocked to tell me she is out of town and the music is constant so her cats don't get lonely. FML

Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

#20715817
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43907) - you deserved it (4243)

On 06/09/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by kalisa anteater (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML

#20721311
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53826) - you deserved it (4994)

On 06/12/2013 at 10:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, whilst trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told me that I looked fat and awful in the dress I liked. When I told her how hurtful she was being, she told me that I should be grateful that she told me what she thought instead of laughing at me behind my back. FML

#20722079
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40913) - you deserved it (6371)

On 06/12/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by mysea8679 (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I found out that my family has a bet on how long I will be single for. FML

#20717191
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44072) - you deserved it (4541)

On 06/10/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Bridget Jones? - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

#20721539
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50569) - you deserved it (3931)

On 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm - health - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not remembering our anniversary. Our three week anniversary. FML

#20702606
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56063) - you deserved it (6590)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:31am - love - by BadBoyfriend - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

#20714140
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39756) - you deserved it (7858)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by purged (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, days after I broke up with my girlfriend, my dad tried to make her feel better by inviting her to our family BBQ next weekend. FML

#20715362
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40230) - you deserved it (4605)

On 06/09/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML

#20718832
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37751) - you deserved it (4373)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:39am - kids - by sydneyp3435 - United States (Texas)



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