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Friday 7 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

#20708781
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48000) - you deserved it (3172)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by butisavedyourkid - United States

Today, at the gym, my boobs were jiggling more than the girl next to me. This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy. FML

#20712866
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48006) - you deserved it (15473)

On 06/08/2013 at 12:42am - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother and grandmother informed me that my sixteen-year-old dog died. I was standing in Wal-Mart at the time. They then yelled at me because crying in public is "inappropriate." FML

#20716871
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51718) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in the waiting room afterwards, because the vaccine has the possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent the next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psycho. FML

#20719679
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44377) - you deserved it (5295)

On 06/11/2013 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

#20707121
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45924) - you deserved it (12287)

On 06/05/2013 at 5:46am - work - by WOWBear - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a promotion and transfer at work. My first responsibility is to fire my soon to be father in-law. FML

#20708889
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56571) - you deserved it (3080)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:08am - work - by hesgonnahateme - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at the office, my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times, in a different format each time, and every single time she replies with, "Not in the requested format". She won't tell me what the requested format is. FML

#20709289
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48536) - you deserved it (4100)

On 06/06/2013 at 8:38am - work - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

#20714723
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62103) - you deserved it (12356)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after telling my mother-in-law about my recent miscarriage, she cheerfully made a cake to celebrate. FML

#20714826
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49041) - you deserved it (3292)

On 06/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anoymous - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48050) - you deserved it (10804)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

#20723014
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56459) - you deserved it (3163)

On 06/13/2013 at 3:05am - health - by _Tatyana_ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML

#20703298
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43408) - you deserved it (4991)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:48pm - misc - by moreliketurdmart (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

#20707414
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44121) - you deserved it (14209)

On 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by SHIT-BREATH (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)



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