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Saturday 11 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56122) - you deserved it (3985)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)

Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML

#20666447
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66311) - you deserved it (3640)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML

#20647629
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46768) - you deserved it (3737)

On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

#20651616
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56143) - you deserved it (3855)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML

#20654383
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50859) - you deserved it (3905)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:01pm - love - by paintfarts1976 (woman) - Ireland (Westmeath)

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59287) - you deserved it (7206)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

#20671062
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36714) - you deserved it (4821)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML

#20654488
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46453) - you deserved it (4439)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by o___O" (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML

#20657778
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47538) - you deserved it (3938)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:20am - health - by those_allergies - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42000) - you deserved it (4071)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47230) - you deserved it (2716)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47194) - you deserved it (3015)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41895) - you deserved it (11897)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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