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Saturday 11 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

#20651616
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58809) - you deserved it (4056)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47900) - you deserved it (4312)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML

#20653026
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55760) - you deserved it (7021)

On 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm - kids - by brokedad - United States

Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML

#20664946
79 comments

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

#20660609
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42656) - you deserved it (21184)

On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States

Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML

#20655447
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61400) - you deserved it (5530)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML

#20644845
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63187) - you deserved it (5944)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

#20656774
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51777) - you deserved it (6014)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm - kids - by failure as a parent (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44427) - you deserved it (4292)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

#20663501
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55672) - you deserved it (3445)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44726) - you deserved it (3338)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

#20646330
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25643) - you deserved it (51239)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by clumsy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48497) - you deserved it (2806)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States



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