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Monday 6 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML

#20655587
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42931) - you deserved it (7190)

On 05/11/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

#20655778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43578) - you deserved it (5504)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:52am - misc - by GaveAnInchTakeAMile (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

#20661400
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40566) - you deserved it (2836)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML

#20647651
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43382) - you deserved it (12787)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm - animals - by hitchcock2013 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML

#20659041
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19569) - you deserved it (71053)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom

Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML

#20658454
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38836) - you deserved it (13901)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by walmart: first time, last time (man) - United States

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

#20660573
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40755) - you deserved it (7026)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, my boss asked me to read through a document. I gave my feedback, saying it seemed like it had been written by an 8-year-old. Turns out it was in fact written by him. FML

#20649842
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43336) - you deserved it (15441)

On 05/08/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by anon_1996 - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML

#20652046
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48231) - you deserved it (2887)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:44pm - kids - by rachelllynne - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML

#20658557
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45475) - you deserved it (4065)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:21pm - love - by mothers (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

#20646182
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42888) - you deserved it (3323)

On 05/06/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by sobasics - United States

Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML

#20656847
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43074) - you deserved it (3237)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was laid off from my job as a manager. After cleaning out my office, I began clearing my computer. I received an email from HR announcing a job position that opened up. Too bad it was for my job. FML

#20651556
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44769) - you deserved it (3568)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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