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Saturday 4 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my family I'm going shopping with my friend "Emma". My sister's been teasing me about this saying, "Emma can't exist! She's not real! You don't have any friends." She's right. FML

#20650839
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45418) - you deserved it (13689)

On 05/08/2013 at 9:22pm - misc - by 19kwhatever (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

#20645244
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55767) - you deserved it (4433)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:25am - work - by perfecttiming (man) - United States (California)

Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML

#20646861
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60045) - you deserved it (6832)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML

#20647729
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49988) - you deserved it (5612)

On 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by hopelesscollegechick - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

#20635835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51227) - you deserved it (2450)

On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

#20650676
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51804) - you deserved it (9723)

On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I had a big party planned. All but one of the guests cancelled. See you at 7, mom. FML

#20630222
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46406) - you deserved it (3654)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

#20632227
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41909) - you deserved it (8793)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:50am - love - by Porter_Robinson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML

#20634407
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55268) - you deserved it (4709)

On 05/01/2013 at 6:30am - money - by Alexman1985 -

Today, I was berated by a pharmacist, who said that kids these days are on so many unnecessary medications for "fake diseases". I was just trying to pick up the medication I've been prescribed to control my epilepsy. FML

Today, my girlfriend found a letter I'd written to myself for moral support while we were broken up, in which I explained why we would never work out. Apparently I made a convincing argument. FML

#20645173
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36005) - you deserved it (35343)

On 05/06/2013 at 10:24am - love - by Alone (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday: Google, my insurance company, and the place I lease my car from. FML

#20649920
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53887) - you deserved it (4020)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by trice (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as a condominium security guard, I had to enter an old lady's apartment to supervise the mandatory maintenance taking place inside. I commented on the lakeside view from her window and mentioned, "This is a pretty nice view up here isn't it?" It turns out that she's blind. FML

#20642213
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52151) - you deserved it (7032)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:28am - work - by rent-a-cop (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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