Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 4 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

#20649461
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42004) - you deserved it (15034)

On 05/08/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by Sebastian20 (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML

#20632758
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48263) - you deserved it (3147)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

#20653784
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52805) - you deserved it (3332)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States

Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML

#20650425
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25713) - you deserved it (51598)

On 05/08/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by Checkless chick - United States

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

#20643700
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47645) - you deserved it (7855)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:10pm - health - by grossed out - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML

Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML

#20635309
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16275) - you deserved it (36505)

On 05/01/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML

#20655587
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42890) - you deserved it (7185)

On 05/11/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so nervous about a first date that trying to break a silence in the beginning, I asked, "So, you afraid of any insects?" No wonder I didn't get a second date. FML

#20632372
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37257) - you deserved it (11152)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:28am - love - by Gioia (woman) - Bulgaria (Vidin)

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

#20655778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43576) - you deserved it (5504)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:52am - misc - by GaveAnInchTakeAMile (woman) - United States

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

#20632607
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41351) - you deserved it (4376)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by good husband - Canada

Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML

#20636616
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41893) - you deserved it (6474)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML

#20647651
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43375) - you deserved it (12788)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm - animals - by hitchcock2013 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: