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Saturday 27 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

#20613283
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47352) - you deserved it (3046)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

#20627190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51588) - you deserved it (10624)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was berated by a pharmacist, who said that kids these days are on so many unnecessary medications for "fake diseases". I was just trying to pick up the medication I've been prescribed to control my epilepsy. FML

Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread. No one will tell me what was said, because I apparently "know full well" what I did. FML

#20624422
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49973) - you deserved it (3586)

On 04/27/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by dabull (man) - United States

Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML

#20624972
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51695) - you deserved it (3981)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

#20630741
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17286) - you deserved it (58375)

On 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm - misc - by random - Canada

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40770) - you deserved it (3882)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML

#20639297
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50533) - you deserved it (4871)

On 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

#20618791
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59582) - you deserved it (4438)

On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

#20620228
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37942) - you deserved it (5118)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)

Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML

#20621829
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46093) - you deserved it (3733)

On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML

#20630309
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56777) - you deserved it (5246)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

#20629579
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24281) - you deserved it (57948)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States



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