Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 11 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

#20598583
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27283) - you deserved it (33451)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:51am - money - by Anonymous -

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

#20601226
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42492) - you deserved it (3716)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

#20601228
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44937) - you deserved it (4468)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML

#20601546
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36898) - you deserved it (4180)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML

#20581007
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40645) - you deserved it (4344)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

#20582191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37261) - you deserved it (4123)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

#20583228
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37946) - you deserved it (3791)

On 04/10/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML

#20583666
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48786) - you deserved it (6495)

On 04/10/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by a - United States

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

#20595392
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23692) - you deserved it (42604)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:01am - money - by LoLWut?? nd Why?? - United States

Today, my mom started fundraising and selling things on ebay. At first I was happy because I thought she was finally going to help me pay my college tuition. Turns out she's planning on raising money to get our dog a new friend because she's "lonely". FML

#20583166
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33610) - you deserved it (4741)

On 04/10/2013 at 2:54am - money - by Witos (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my grandmother to hem my prom dress for me. I'm her oldest granddaughter so I thought she'd be happy to do it. She said no. Her occupation is a seamstress. FML

#20589845
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42272) - you deserved it (7254)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML

#20591828
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39779) - you deserved it (5715)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML

#20601828
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43074) - you deserved it (6842)

On 04/18/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by notlaughing (woman) - United States (Maryland)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: