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Thursday 11 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML

#20586993
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35153) - you deserved it (16483)

On 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

#20595392
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20405) - you deserved it (37764)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:01am - money - by LoLWut?? nd Why?? - United States

Today, I was at the park unsuccessfully trying to take a selfie. A stranger walked up to me and offered to take the picture for me. I agreed and gave him my phone. He took it and ran off. FML

#20595412
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28428) - you deserved it (52759)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by no selfie for me - United States (California)

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

#20598583
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25725) - you deserved it (31584)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:51am - money - by Anonymous -

Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML

#20581007
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34903) - you deserved it (2993)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

#20582191
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31869) - you deserved it (2928)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

#20583228
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32953) - you deserved it (3176)

On 04/10/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML

#20583666
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47021) - you deserved it (6307)

On 04/10/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by a - United States

Today, I asked my grandmother to hem my prom dress for me. I'm her oldest granddaughter so I thought she'd be happy to do it. She said no. Her occupation is a seamstress. FML

#20589845
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40701) - you deserved it (7036)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

#20601226
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40787) - you deserved it (3576)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mom started fundraising and selling things on ebay. At first I was happy because I thought she was finally going to help me pay my college tuition. Turns out she's planning on raising money to get our dog a new friend because she's "lonely". FML

#20583166
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32174) - you deserved it (4574)

On 04/10/2013 at 2:54am - money - by Witos (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML

#20591828
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34964) - you deserved it (4799)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML

#20601828
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40038) - you deserved it (6539)

On 04/18/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by notlaughing (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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