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Thursday 11 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML

#20582400
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35710) - you deserved it (7119)

On 04/09/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by nice education you've got there (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML

#20589609
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45197) - you deserved it (11384)

On 04/14/2013 at 5:58am - kids - by jasminejzhu (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML

#20586993
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40867) - you deserved it (17997)

On 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently the first time she thought I was kidding. FML

#20602951
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43789) - you deserved it (6973)

On 04/18/2013 at 6:47pm - love - by RaveCharlie - United States

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

#20593500
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42081) - you deserved it (8656)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

#20601226
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45535) - you deserved it (3945)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayed the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we started talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. FML

#20586667
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48697) - you deserved it (15121)

On 04/12/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by InDisbelief (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library for most of the night so that my roommate and his friends would believe that I have a social life. FML

#20585552
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37003) - you deserved it (19134)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by InNeedOfFriends (woman) - United States

Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML

#20599168
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39828) - you deserved it (20819)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

#20582957
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29493) - you deserved it (19649)

On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

#20596320
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43329) - you deserved it (5917)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML

#20581032
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31068) - you deserved it (7609) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/08/2013 at 5:10pm - misc - by La Guigne - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

#20593450
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46526) - you deserved it (4578)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)



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