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Thursday 11 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after weeks of insomnia, I fell asleep. This would have been great if my brother didn't wake me up at 3am, screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded for thumping him, and have to do all his chores while sleep deprived. FML

#20592535
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40979) - you deserved it (5060)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:32am - misc - by do your own ironing (woman) -

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML

#20595162
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57617) - you deserved it (5426)

On 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm - kids - by Mimi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

#20580301
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30706) - you deserved it (5036)

On 04/08/2013 at 4:30am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of my tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up, I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hour while I put my uniform through the dryer. FML

#20580594
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32829) - you deserved it (3882)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:56pm - work - by soakedga - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library for most of the night so that my roommate and his friends would believe that I have a social life. FML

#20585552
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34735) - you deserved it (18299)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by InNeedOfFriends (woman) - United States

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

#20589296
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45547) - you deserved it (9325)

On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)

Today, I didn't mind paying a little bit extra for my manicure because I forgot how nice it was to have someone hold your hand. Even if it was an old Asian lady. FML

#20581665
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32531) - you deserved it (5142)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by lonelygirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

#20597351
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48945) - you deserved it (7632)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML

#20600031
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39014) - you deserved it (4014)

On 04/17/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by the attention seeker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

#20601226
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42541) - you deserved it (3720)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

#20584487
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39719) - you deserved it (14968)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:53am - love - by flowerging (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML

#20586993
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38819) - you deserved it (17500)

On 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at the park unsuccessfully trying to take a selfie. A stranger walked up to me and offered to take the picture for me. I agreed and gave him my phone. He took it and ran off. FML

#20595412
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29177) - you deserved it (54228)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by no selfie for me - United States (California)



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