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Thursday 11 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39998) - you deserved it (3601)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

#20586134
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40242) - you deserved it (4872)

On 04/12/2013 at 6:23am - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

#20592968
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59944) - you deserved it (10849)

On 04/15/2013 at 5:09am - intimacy - by JRLJLS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37557) - you deserved it (3531)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

#20596072
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69300) - you deserved it (12195)

On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

#20593993
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42463) - you deserved it (11578)

On 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Kutakito (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

#20581880
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68832) - you deserved it (10923)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

#20600180
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46427) - you deserved it (2901)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38325) - you deserved it (5886)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

#20584796
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38464) - you deserved it (18159)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML

#20591599
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43168) - you deserved it (13269) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by NiquetChrome (woman) - France

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

#20585168
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41887) - you deserved it (8013)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)



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