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Thursday 14 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38639) - you deserved it (3475)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

#20541928
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33991) - you deserved it (3394)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

#20543433
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48230) - you deserved it (9637)

On 03/14/2013 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

#20546879
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31039) - you deserved it (2738)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML

#20549126
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45581) - you deserved it (8448)

On 03/18/2013 at 10:36am - intimacy - by Ann (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML

#20541052
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37872) - you deserved it (2749)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

#20544424
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51379) - you deserved it (6794)

On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML

#20548954
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13215) - you deserved it (52672)

On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML

#20553362
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40491) - you deserved it (16951)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:01am - intimacy - by meeee (woman) - United States

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML

#20547328
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32920) - you deserved it (6821)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:25am - kids - by hejdixjeln - United States (Illinois)

Today, after six months of writing a 40 page paper criticizing a famous method, I found out the professor who conceived it has transferred to my favorite college to head the department I'm applying to study in. They require I submit the paper with my application. FML

#20548512
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31946) - you deserved it (4457)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:09pm - work - by GeoKid (man) - Canada

Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML

#20551577
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10579) - you deserved it (41405)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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