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Thursday 14 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML

#20551039
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40446) - you deserved it (3702)

On 03/19/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by :( - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML

#20551761
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42929) - you deserved it (2819)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:55am - misc - by really? (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I reminded him that he did fine on his first pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had my hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML

#20540823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38066) - you deserved it (5862)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28094) - you deserved it (8039)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States

Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML

#20539190
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9618) - you deserved it (48143)

On 03/11/2013 at 3:43am - misc - by PeeLeg (woman) -

Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML

#20545151
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35162) - you deserved it (3144)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm - love - by forever single, I guess (man) - United States

Today, I figured I needed to clean my room. I ended up finding my $135 calculator that I'd accused my ex-boyfriend of selling for gas money. That's also the reason I dumped him. FML

#20539612
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10116) - you deserved it (72270)

On 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm - money - by supertango500 (woman) - United States

Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML

#20548954
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13827) - you deserved it (54237)

On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML

#20541052
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39858) - you deserved it (2897)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resume, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML

#20549811
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8701) - you deserved it (87626)

On 03/18/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by nohablaespanol - United States (Texas)

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

#20542468
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39952) - you deserved it (3894)

On 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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