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Thursday 14 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

#20551821
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25721) - you deserved it (4311)

On 03/20/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML

#20540616
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55577) - you deserved it (7177)

On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML

#20541897
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38358) - you deserved it (4541)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32218) - you deserved it (5791)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML

#20550513
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35321) - you deserved it (28049)

On 03/19/2013 at 5:59am - work - by Luke - United States (New York)

Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML

#20551759
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39220) - you deserved it (4248)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:54am - love - by Too manly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

#20542189
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47458) - you deserved it (7706)

On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

#20552364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34563) - you deserved it (3095)

On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

#20552400
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43791) - you deserved it (5057)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States

Today, I figured I needed to clean my room. I ended up finding my $135 calculator that I'd accused my ex-boyfriend of selling for gas money. That's also the reason I dumped him. FML

#20539612
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9542) - you deserved it (69817)

On 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm - money - by supertango500 (woman) - United States

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

#20540639
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31270) - you deserved it (2807)

On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

#20541928
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34045) - you deserved it (3398)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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