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Friday 1 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML

#20487736
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25311) - you deserved it (2056)

On 01/31/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by fuckit (man) - Italy (Lazio)

Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML

#20488553
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (2056)

On 02/01/2013 at 1:09am - animals - by Angry Mob - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

#20489307
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30648) - you deserved it (4300)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML

#20489830
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27555) - you deserved it (5653)

On 02/02/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by merp. (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

#20498655
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29475) - you deserved it (2498)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML

#20485491
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22016) - you deserved it (5418)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25430) - you deserved it (3915)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML

#20487007
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11965) - you deserved it (26314)

On 01/30/2013 at 11:02pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML

#20488361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28466) - you deserved it (2188)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:06pm - work - by stupidapperently (woman) - United States

Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML

#20497288
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30321) - you deserved it (2215)

On 02/07/2013 at 5:56pm - misc - by fineillpissthebedthen (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I had my gallbladder removed. I have a very painful incision in my belly that makes any kind of movement excruciating. I've had the hiccups 5 times so far. FML



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