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Friday 1 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I actually considered my boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML

#20488602
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31270) - you deserved it (5759)

On 02/01/2013 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

#20491900
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24995) - you deserved it (2788)

On 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by FUCK GOD (man) - Argentina (Salta)

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21565) - you deserved it (32872)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking your butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

#20495701
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24000) - you deserved it (1897)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:57pm - misc - by embarassinggg (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML

#20496640
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28838) - you deserved it (15577)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27739) - you deserved it (2788)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML

#20489080
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10100) - you deserved it (27401)

On 02/01/2013 at 2:59pm - love - by 3some? uh, no (woman) - Dominican Republic

Today, as I was leaving for my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML

#20489863
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21199) - you deserved it (5544)

On 02/02/2013 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, at my retail job, a woman came to my till with her purchases. After I scanned all her items, she handed me two small bags. One was filled with nickels and dimes. The other was filled with cents. Her total was $28.53. The coins amounted to $22.30. FML

#20490092
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27547) - you deserved it (2153)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:53am - work - by fuckedbyretail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML

#20488553
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24363) - you deserved it (1654)

On 02/01/2013 at 1:09am - animals - by Angry Mob - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

#20489307
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (3891)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML

#20492687
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28602) - you deserved it (13093)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while my mother-in-law visited, I asked if she wouldn't mind watching my son for 10 minutes as I had run out of baby shampoo. I came back home to see she had shaved his head completely bald. That was his very first haircut. FML

#20494705
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30696) - you deserved it (2551)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:48pm - kids - by missedout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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