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Friday 1 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

#20495286
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51845) - you deserved it (5927)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States

Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (2607)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

#20489333
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31372) - you deserved it (9031)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm - misc - by VMV (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML

#20492131
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45262) - you deserved it (4875)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34495) - you deserved it (4362)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

#20491836
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12851) - you deserved it (31910)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML

#20497809
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37975) - you deserved it (8633)

On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

#20491476
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43949) - you deserved it (5254)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Serbia

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

#20486554
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26948) - you deserved it (2303)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML

#20491168
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29620) - you deserved it (7526)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27545) - you deserved it (5136)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

#20485057
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27595) - you deserved it (39366)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States



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